i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
