I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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