margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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