I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize