chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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