Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
