dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
