Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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