you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
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He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
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we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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