what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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