I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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