When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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