Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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