hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
