Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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