i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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