People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
