Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
