I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
