dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
