guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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