oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
