If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
