she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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