at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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