She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My feet surprised me
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