I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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