If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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