it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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