with your own penis?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
