Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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