After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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