Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
