when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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