It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
