Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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