i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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