And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
