help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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