He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
