is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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