My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
