I smell stomach acid.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The feeling are messing with the penis
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
