There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
did i just pee glitter
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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