Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
