Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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