He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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