so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
