yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize