Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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