Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
