How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
