Moan for me like Helen Keller
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
