i may or may not be watching the land before time
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
