I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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