i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
