Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
