he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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