I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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