He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
