doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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